I begin with the joy of playing Mahjong yesterday, which I played for the first time in many weeks. Add to that the pleasure of going to see “Godzilla Minus One” (trust me on this – it was a really good movie!). I went out to dinner at a restaurant. I went to a lecture at our local college. I took a very long walk. Took my grandson to his swimming lesson.
These joys were brought to me courtesy of a newly recovered body following surgery. One really positive thing about surgery (other than the obviously hoped-for outcome of a healthy body), is it makes you appreciate every little thing you customarily take for granted.
Last month, I had a mastectomy. A surgery I sure never expected to be having, but one I deemed necessary. Unbelievable as this may sound, I actually elected to have this surgery. After suffering the pain of countless mammograms, a needle biopsy, and a lumpectomy (don’t let the innocuous-sounding name fool you – it’s still surgery), my doctors found precancer cells in my breast. My chances of developing breast cancer were just too high for my comfort, so I opted for a mastectomy. The surgery itself wasn’t awful – it was just the weeks of recovery that really got me. My body just did not feel like my body. I was so tired. I walked around with these awful drainage tubes attached to my waist. I was not only depleted of energy; I was depleted of confidence. How could I go out in the world looking and feeling like this?
Now, five weeks out, I feel better, much better. I still take epic naps, but the tubes are out, I wear pants with a zipper(!); I even put on makeup one day. I’ve gone to the movies and dinner with my husband. And yesterday, I wrote two goals for myself: go play Mahjong and call a friend to have lunch. I did both!
Next week I will be totally free of all restrictions, which, while joyful, is a little scary because I still don’t totally feel like my old self. I have been given permission to exercise, to dance, to play pickleball, and, best of all, to carry my baby grandson. This may all take a while, but I’m free to try.
So, there it is. The JOY of a successful surgery. The joy of recovery. The joy of all the blessings in my life like companionship, meals out, exercise, dancing, pickleball, and picking up my grandsons. The list goes on. There are indeed many joys in my life. May I always savor them.