Don’t let anyone tell you Covid is over. It is not. I have been living with its effects for weeks now, and it has certainly thrown a wrench into my life. My Covid symptoms landed in my ears. A ruptured ear drum! And ears so full of fluid and congestion I cannot hear a thing.
It is hard to live with diminished hearing. I know I am stating the obvious, but it has been so sudden, I can truly appreciate how debilitating it is. My ENT tells me this will pass, and for that I am certainly grateful.
Because I cannot hear, I cannot really carry on conversations, unless of course it is with my husband who has been instructed to SPEAK LOUDLY, which is he certainly willing to do (I do have to remind him that he does not have to YELL). Phone conversations have been nearly impossible, unless I do it on FaceTime. I haven’t played Pickleball because I feel so off-balance. And I haven’t been writing because I feel, well, just crabby. Just ask my husband.
All of this has sent me into a spiral of self-pity and general hopelessness. Which makes it hard to experience JOY.
So, a change of attitude is in order. Gratitude can help me feel JOY again. So, here is a list of things I am grateful for in spite of my temporary deafness:
Attending a college basketball game, because after all, you really don’t need to hear the game. Strangely, and delightfully, two men in front of me were speaking to each other in sign language – just to prove my point.
Going to a movie. Movies are always TOO LOUD, so I have been very comfortable.
Closed captions on TV, which I tend to need anyway.
Attending the “Annual Reproductive Rights Benefit Broadway Gala” put on by Dakotans for Health. The performances were stunning, the stories were moving, the emcee spoke into a microphone, and I could hear it all! I could not hear the conversation at my table, but I felt great joy knowing that we agreed on these most basic of human rights.
Books, books, and more books. I have never read so much in my life.
I finished unpacking and organizing closets! Because you certainly don’t need to hear to put things in their place.
This is all happening in winter, my most unfavorite of seasons. The good thing about that is winter is already so silent, so I don’t think I am missing much.
This hearing loss is, in fact, temporary.
So, there is JOY to be found in the silence. But, honestly, I’ve had enough of this kind of JOY. I’m ready to start hearing it all.