Being a recent transplant to the city of Sioux Falls, South Dakota means I am constantly meeting new people. I explain to them that I am new to town – that I moved here from St. Paul. At this point, the listeners feel compelled to tell me why I left my beloved home of 42 years. The amazing thing is, the explanation never varies. I could write a script and hand it to them so they could just read it.
They could choose one or all of the following options:
Me: “We moved here from St. Paul.”
Option 1: “Oh, you moved here because we don’t have income taxes in South Dakota. You had to get away from Minnesota’s taxes.”
Option 2: “Oh, you had to get away from the crime.”
Option 3: “Oh, you had to get away from the traffic.”
It never varies. Ever. Some listeners will ask first why we moved here, and I will say, “Because we wanted to be near our grandson.” But even after hearing that, they tell me the real reason, which is some combination of options 1, 2, and 3.
I am not exaggerating here. I have never had anyone not tell me the real reason why we moved here.
Let me state my responses now:
Option 1: “I believe in paying taxes. I think we should pay taxes to support social services, education, health, and infrastructure. Nothing is free.”
Option 2: “Although there is indeed crime, I have never been afraid for my own personal safety.”
Option 3: “I have gotten stuck in traffic at rush hour. It is a bummer.”
I don’t say any of these, because people have already told me my reasons, and they are not interested in hearing differently. They tell me the real reason and the discussion is done.
I do wonder why this is. Are people in my newly adopted town feeling defensive? Why do the residents of this state feel the need to support their narrative of “The Cities” being a crime infested, traffic clogged city for which we pay high taxes? I do not have an answer.
So, it was with great JOY that I can report that this week someone did not feel compelled to explain to me why I moved here. I met “Bev” at Mahjong this past week. She asked, “Where did you move here from?” I responded “St. Paul”, and then wondered which of the three options she would choose. She said, “Oh, St. Paul is a beautiful city.” Wait for it … nothing! No explanation forthcoming! To which I was able to respond, “It is a beautiful city, and we loved it.” That’s it. No more explaining necessary. I breathed a sigh of joy and relief.
I miss St. Paul a lot. After all, it gave us great joy to live there for 42 years. This does not mean I don’t find joy in Sioux Falls. But it does give me joy when someone is able to tell me what I already know – St. Paul is a beautiful city.