Something happens when you move to a state where the politics are vastly different: you keep your mouth shut. Or, you put out tiny “feelers” – little phrases to test the waters. You move forward if it is deemed safe, you pull back if you are met with silence or contempt.
My husband calls it a form of “code-switching”, that is, customizing the things you say or the way you say them to the group being addressed, and that rings true. When we lived in Minnesota, I spoke my beliefs aloud, because I knew most everyone agreed with me. It is easy to say what to me is the obvious: Trump is a felon and a bad guy and shouldn’t be elected. Taxes are a necessary burden so that we can get the roads, the education, and the social services we all deserve. Everyone deserves health care. And all people, regardless of gender identity, deserve the same rights as everyone else. More than anything, all people deserve unconditional love.
Yes, I watch what I say here in my newly adopted state of South Dakota. I just do not want to deal with the silence or the slings and arrows of contempt. But, sometimes, I do give it a try. Turning off the “code-switching” and saying my truth.
Case in point: my local pharmacy. As I was checking out, the young cashier asked if I had fun plans for the week. I hesitated, and thought, “What the heck. Say it!” “Yes,” I told her, “I am going to see the Rainbow Chorus on Wednesday night.” She did not flinch! I said, “How about you?” And she replied, “Well, it is my birthday on Saturday. My friends and I are going to the Gay Pride parade to celebrate.” Bingo! It’s a match! What joy it gave me to connect with someone over such joyful events as concerts and parades!
On Wednesday night I went to the concert of the Rainbow Chorus in Sioux Falls. Where to begin with the joy it gave me? First, that there is a LGBTQIA2S+ (I know, I don’t quite know what all the letters stand for, but you get the idea) in South Dakota! Second, the songs: “Brave”, “I’m Still Standing”, “I Will Survive”, and finally, “Bridge Over Troubled Water”. The singing, the harmony, the spirit. It was all just so moving.
All this joy comes with a tinge of sadness: that people who identify as Queer still have to defend themselves. Have to hide, have to deal with prejudice and violence. I can’t believe we’re still talking about basic freedoms and love for all human beings.
Still, from struggle comes great joy. And I sure felt it this week.
Happy Pride Month!